


ordinary.

by yojin (MnM_PD)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self-Indulgent, ch392 spoilers, chapter 392 deteriorated my mental health tbh, is it bc i'm a konoha slave or did y'all feel that too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MnM_PD/pseuds/yojin
Summary: konoha hated being normal.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Konoha Akinori
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	ordinary.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m in a whirlwind of emotions so here is a whirlwind of scenes and bokukono feelings. i didnt know a konoha chapter would claw at my heart and tear my goddamn facade down. i’ve been overthinking (and sometimes to the point of literally crying) since the chapter came out.
> 
> as the tag alr said: this is self indulgent. i also kept on sobbing physically while typing this. i’m rlly fuckin going thru it, folks.

Konoha had felt like absolute shit. It was their last match as highschool students, their last chance to win nationals, and his last time to be on the court with this wonderful team, then they lost it. All because of his sloppy, short toss to their ace.

* * *

Bokuto is on the screen, playing volleyball as part of the team MSBY Black Jackals, and Konoha is watching. Konoha watches with mixed emotions, and he hopes Bokuto can still feel his full support even if he’s not on the court, or the bench, or the bleachers.

* * *

It was a bad day. He didn’t even need a reason for it. He just felt like absolute shit that day. They were about to have a match against a fairly known school, and Konoha knew he should prepare physically and mentally instead of sticking his sweaty back against the wall, hugging his legs close to his chest, head atop his knees. He should be stretching, he doesn’t want to but he should force himself or else he’d have cramps or won’t be able to perform well later. He knows, but his head might burst if he opens up instead of hiding away.

“Konoha.”

Someone called out, and he lifted his head up a little to peak at whoever said his name.

He saw soft golden irises focus on him to hold his gaze as if to stabilize him, a warm smile on the other’s lips, speaking gently, “ _Hey, hey, hey_. Want me to help you stretch?”

* * *

The receive is bad, and Hinata struggles as he sets the ball for Bokuto. Konoha intently looks at it and recognizes that it’s short.

It’s a mediocre set.

Three guys from the opposite team jumps in perfect synchronization, their postures absolute and frightening as their arms loomed over the net.

This looked familiar. It felt familiar, and it left an unpleasant feeling inside Konoha’s chest.

Bokuto is running towards a definitive block.

* * *

It was an unspoken, selfish, bitter and ugly emotion of Konoha’s. He never admitted it out loud or even internally. He just felt it boil inside his guts, then he pressured it to keep it inside as it turned into acid, burning him, deteriorating him achingly from inside out.

With an exhausted heart and tired lungs, Konoha finally raises his white flag as he entered the sanctuary of his room. His knees gave in and crashed onto the floor, his chest tightened and numbed all over. Futilely, he attempted to even out his breathing.

It dawned onto him like an unrelenting surge of tidal waves, once he got caught into the first one, a second immediately comes and drags him deeper, forbidding him of oxygen. It went on and on and on and on.

Gasping for a breath, Konoha wished he were somebody else. He wished he were simply _someone_. He wished he was a person Bokuto would expect to offer more than his hundred percent just to send him the perfect toss.

Konoha wished he was one of the protagonists, on equal footing with someone important to him. He wished he wasn’t just a _nobody_. Maybe then he would have had the right to be beside someone so dazzling.

* * *

Konoha apologized for giving their ace a bad toss, bowing his head in shame, but then he heard Bokuto say, “The fact that you could even set the ball at all was really darn amazing.”

Konoha should be comforted, really, but all he really felt was his complete helplessness.

* * *

The game had started and Konoha has not yet fully recovered from the storm that was inside his head earlier, but occasional glances and concerned smiles were sent his way discreetly. They were noticeable but not suffocating and smothering.

After a while, Konoha finally found himself breathing more freely. Once he found the opportunity, he placed a hand at the base of Bokuto’s spine, signaling him that he’s slowly feeling a little better.

Bokuto slightly tilted his body towards him, then his lips slowly grew into a bright smile, his expression turning soft, “ _Hey, you_.”

* * *

Bokuto faces the three man block head on, and Konoha holds his breath, anxiety dragging itself like a blade into his blood stream as his focus zeroed in on his former ace.

But then instead of spiking it, Bokuto turns around midair and hits the ball over his shoulder as he was descending, earning himself a valid and fanciful point.

Konoha quickly bursts into a bright laughter, pride swelling inside his chest.

* * *

“I wouldn’t have been able to see this view from the center court if I wasn’t on the same team as you.” Konoha stated, motivating himself to stand proud beside his ace, then he whispered, “I consider myself supremely lucky that I was.”

He gave Bokuto a meaningful glance, then gave him a pat on his back, “Don’t you quit now. You keep going, got it? And give it everything you’ve got!”

* * *

They were sharing an umbrella as they walked to the bus stop through the rain, and Konoha was deep inside his thoughts, which he was only brought out of when Bokuto slung an arm around him and pulled him close, saying, “Your other shoulder’s getting wet.”

Konoha tensed inside Bokuto’s embrace, but as they stepped forward, he slowly eased into his warmth, some of his thoughts accidentally spilling out, “I don't deserve this.”

Bokuto tilted his head like he was offended by what he said, “Is that what you were thinking about?”

Konoha chewed on his bottom lip, but his doubts were still stuck inside his throat, begging to crawl out, “I’m just ordinary."

Bokuto paused for a tense second, then he chuckled and held him even closer. With a gentle, rumbling voice, he muttered, " _Hey_."

Konoha looked up to see the other's face, and Bokuto's golden irises looked right back at him as he said, “Is it bad to be one?”

* * *

Bokuto stands proudly on the court and Konoha couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He’s bright and blinding and beautiful, and Konoha feels so fucking lucky to have him in his life, but something is different with how he shines now. He’s not some kind of star that is far away, out of touch and out of reach.

Fondness takes over Konoha’s expression, his lips in an endeared smile.

_“_ _I’ll be cheering for you 110 percent all the way, mr. just-a-normal-ace.”_

* * *

_Is it bad to be normal?_

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is. i just barfed some words & now my eyelids are swollen bc honest to god ... bokukono is making me go thru some real shit rn. but also KONOHA himself. seriously. i’m almost taking these konoha moments as a personal attack from furudate ,,,,, bc it’s that painful for me.
> 
> btw i edited their convo under the umbrella so much? it first was like:  
>  **konoha:** _do i deserve you? i'm ordinary. i'm not in the spotlight like you. our relationship would be normal and boring._  
>  **bokuto:** _what's so wrong with that when i have you anyway?_  
>  to  
>  **konoha:** _you deserve better. i'm ordinary, so why me?_  
>  **bokuto:** _nothing fancy. it's just because it's you._  
>  so hopefully i ended up w the right one that didn't show too much romance and that it didn't romanticize being "normal" or that bokuto didn't appear like the reason why konoha would come to terms w being "ordinary" bc i wanted him to figure that out himself and i want their relationship kinda vague.
> 
> i also changed the last line from "maybe being normal wasn't so bad" to "is it bad to be normal?" bc i'm still pondering abt the answer //and// konoha's answer to it as well. it's mainly the reason why i'm stuck in an overthinking overdrive.
> 
> anyway hope yall liked that ??? omg??? pls talk konoha or bkkn to me in the comments ;; i’ve been crying all day.


End file.
